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I helped myself with a personal mantra I was careful never to breathe out loud. “I’m invisible. I’m nothing. I’m not worth it.” It helped me mute any reactions which might make my life difficult. More difficult.The day continued after the assemble with assigned duties until Meal time came at mid-day. After we ate our prescribed meals and you can bet there was no sharing even if it wasn’t forbidden, we put our recyclables in the bin and remained for population responsibilities class to prepare us for our release to population.You know, the proper attire to wear while bicycling, mandatory safety equipment checklist, same for jogging. How to properly shuffle to avoid an enforcement against you for disorderly walking and the like. In spite of surviving the Creche so far, I worried about my ability to endure population as a sane let alone contented person. And I was fairly content, behind my passive dull facade of acceptance.I’m invisible, I’m nothing, I’m not worth it. Somehow I had a. “Maybe I haven’t seen him enough when he’s sober to judge that,” she thought.‘Take a look at me, Bonnie,” she said in a lowered voice. “I’m all used up and alone. Do you like what you see? ‘Cause in not too long a time, this will be you.”Roxie had to admit to herself that she wasn’t all that slow at shooting a nasty barb, herself.She turned and walked out of the bedroom. She paused in the front room and took a last look around. Bonnie was mumbling something behind her, but Roxie couldn’t make it out and knew it wouldn’t have amounted to much, anyway.As she walked through the front door and closed it behind her she heard Junior calling to her again.“So, are ya condemnin’ me or yerself?” he yelled.Roxie got into her car and started the motor.“Good question, Junior!” she said out loud as she put the car in gear.She didn’t know the answer. She would have to think on it overnight.“He stood you up?”Roxie looked around the diner to see who might be listening in to Millie shouting out her.
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